Better Manager Strategies to Avoid Being a Bad Boss

We’ve all had that moment as managers—overwhelmed, over-scheduled, and quietly asking: Is this the kind of boss I promised I’d never become? The real question is: what does it take to be a better manager? If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Most managers are promoted without ever being shown how to lead people. We inherit systems built for efficiency, not dignity; systems that prize control over connection and output over well-being. And still, the pressure builds. Surely this can’t be it: the back-to-back meetings with no purpose, the side-eyes from team members who’ve had enough, the reckless decisions from your own leadership, the pretending everything’s fine while your team quietly unravels, and the 3 a.m. spiral, wondering if you’re leading everyone off a cliff.

But it’s not just you—it’s the times we’re in. The world is in a polycrisis of overlapping economic, political, environmental, and cultural shocks. We all feel the tremors. Yet, we put one foot in front of the other. For leaders juggling hybrid teams, endless notifications, and AI tools rewriting work overnight, the challenge isn’t just to keep up—it’s to discern what matters without losing yourself. From boardrooms to virtual rooms, I’ve learned that leading through uncertainty doesn’t mean becoming less of yourself. The better managers we want to work with bring more—clarity, steadiness, courage—without letting burnout or broken systems set the terms. Mita Mallick, author of *The Devil Emails at Midnight: What Good Leaders Can Learn From Bad Bosses*, puts it bluntly: “Micromanaging squeezes the joy out of work. Just because you have expertise doesn’t mean you can suddenly lead people. We have to coach, train, and support new managers—or risk creating more bad bosses.”

How to Evolve from a Bad Boss to a Better Manager

Here’s how to shift from bad boss behaviors to the kind of manager people want to work for.

1. Better Managers Lead Like a Human

Bad bosses default to micromanagement. Better managers model presence. Your team doesn’t need a spreadsheet to get through their next impossible task or unexpected pivot; they need someone who notices when they’re running on fumes, listens, and shows up with curiosity, humility, steadiness, and joy, especially under pressure.

As I share in *Burnt Out to Lit Up*, the strongest leaders ask better questions not to rush into solution mode, but because connection builds trust, and awareness leads to better decisions. Try this one: What’s one thing that would make work better for you this week? Mallick agrees and reminds us that the opposite is just as powerful.

She writes candidly about losing her father in 2017: “I tried to outrun the grief. It followed me into the conference room. I became the Devil who emails at midnight.” Her wake-up call came when a high performer resigned. The lesson? Our pain and shame aren’t tools of management. Left unchecked, they turn into destructive boss behaviors. But they don’t have to. We can choose to help our teams do their best work instead of falling back on patterns of fear and control.

2. Better Managers Choose Clarity Over Busyness

Bad bosses react with busyness. Better managers create clarity. When pressure rises, the job isn’t to spin faster but to steady yourself so others can find their footing. The higher you go, the murkier things get—pressure increases, power shifts, and priorities change weekly. Suddenly, you’re reacting instead of leading with intention.

I’ve seen this firsthand. In one tense executive meeting about a company’s poor performance, I stopped mid-sentence and said, “We don’t have a performance problem. We have a clarity problem.” That moment didn’t solve everything, but it reframed the conversation from blame-keeping to honest assessment, naming what mattered, what needed improvement, and what had to be true to move forward.

Clarity is one of a leader’s most critical responsibilities. Without it, managers default to busyness, fueling the very stress they’re trying to contain. In today’s world of AI dashboards and endless data streams, it’s easier than ever to confuse activity with progress. Better managers cut through the noise, naming what truly drives impact and what can be paused, delegated, or dropped. As Mallick reminds us, when organizations hand out titles without training or support, managers default to micromanagement and survival mode.

• Say what you know and what you don’t.
• If tension is building, name it.

Silence breeds fear. Transparency builds trust. Take a moment to clarify what matters to you, your team, and your organization. Then, lead from there.

3. Better Managers Invite Honesty, Not Fear

Bad bosses rule with fear. Better managers build feedback loops. If everyone’s nodding, you’re missing the truth. Celebrate those who challenge you, and thank people for the hard questions. Power distorts perception.

One of the most dangerous traps in leadership is believing your own hype. Mallick learned this early, working under a boss she nicknamed Medusa, who shouted and humiliated team members to get results. The lesson stuck: fear may drive short-term results, but it burns out your team and kills culture. Great managers don’t rely on fear or compliance. They create safe feedback loops in how their teams operate—not once a quarter, but every week.

Amy Edmondson’s research on psychological safety shows that teams thrive when leaders actively invite dissent. That could look like:

• Opening team meetings with a simple check: What’s one thing we could be doing better?
• Creating a “red flag” channel or doc where people can flag issues anonymously.

In today’s climate, where inclusion efforts are often challenged or minimized, psychological safety becomes even more critical. Better managers make it clear: every voice matters, and dissent is not only welcome but necessary. And when you’re wrong? Name it. That’s how we shift from compliance to commitment.

4. Better Managers Value Discernment Over Urgency

Bad bosses confuse urgency with impact. Better managers practice discernment. They help their teams distinguish between what’s loud and what really matters. Managers are often rewarded for running fast, not running well. That leads to teams equating speed with impact.

But when everything is urgent, nothing gets the energy it deserves. And your teams burn out before achieving what matters most. The best managers I’ve seen do something deceptively simple: they help their teams differentiate what’s important from what’s merely loud. They ask: Does this drive impact? Is this the highest and best use of our resources? Or are we just spinning?

As I’ve written in Forbes, the most effective leaders create space for reflection and discernment, not just speed. Managers themselves are burning out at historic rates as they’re asked to deliver results with shrinking budgets while absorbing increasing pressure from above and below. Discernment—knowing what’s urgent versus what’s important—is how managers protect their energy, too.

• Set boundaries that retrain not just your boss, but your entire team.
• When her manager texted her at 6:30 a.m., she waited until 8:30 a.m. to respond by email.

The lesson: discernment isn’t just about what you prioritize, but how you teach others to prioritize with you. By resetting expectations and modeling healthier rhythms, you help your team protect its energy for the work that matters.

5. Better Managers Shape Healthy Cultures

Bad bosses extract. Better managers shape. You are the culture—not in a headline sense—but in how people feel when they work with you. Presence, accountability, and humanity ripple outward through every interaction. That starts with you.

A present leader knows when to push, when to pause, and when to pass the mic. They’re willing to grow out loud, not behind closed doors. In hybrid and distributed teams, presence doesn’t come from being in the same office; it comes from consistently modeling clarity, steadiness, and fairness across screens and time zones.

Mita Mallick offers a challenge: use your bad boss experiences as fuel. You can repeat those patterns, or you can break them. Look in the mirror, reflect on what hasn’t worked or where you’ve failed your team or yourself, and—this part is necessary—share with one colleague the habit you’re working to change. Accountability makes the shift stick.

For example: Tell a peer, “I tend to jump in too fast. Call me out when I do it.” At the end of a 1:1 or a project, ask your team member, “What’s one thing I could have done differently?” Organizations have a role, too: stop promoting people into management without asking if they want to lead people, stop handing out titles without clarity and training, and start holding harmful bosses accountable.

As Mallick writes: “This isn’t about another executive coach. Sometimes it’s about therapy and moving on.” As I’ve argued in *Forbes*, bad bosses don’t just harm individuals. Leadership missteps fuel attrition and disengagement, creating ripple effects that erode trust and performance across an organization. Better managers fuel, not drain.

Every choice you make as a people manager is a chance to ask: Am I designing work conditions that fuel people, not drain them? Gallup research finds that managers account for 70% of the variance in employee engagement, making “bad boss behaviors” the single most significant driver of burnout and attrition. Leadership is a practice. To be a serious manager is to say: Let’s build something better together. It’s guiding your team through challenging moments as a steady presence. It’s spotting burnout before it takes root. It’s inspiring people to do their best work, not squeezing the most out of them.

And it’s mustering the courage to admit where you’ve fallen short and to act with clarity and care, informed by what the moment has taught you. Be the better manager you always wished you had—the one who fuels, not drains. Not someday. Now.